Healthy relationships support independent thought. Your mind is strong and beautiful and shouldn’t be caged. There’s nothing wrong with being open to the influence of the people around you, but ‘the way you do you’ is for you to decide. Nobody should have to ask for permission or be heavily directed on what to wear, how to look, who to spend time with or how to spend their money. You can only change the things that are open to your influence and toxic people will never be one of them. Here are some of the ones to watch out for. If you’re in any sort of relationship with someone who is toxic, chances are you’ve been bending and flexing for a while to try to make it work.
With two non-toxic people this is the foundation for something wonderful, but when toxic behaviour is involved it’s only a matter of time before that open heart becomes a broken one. It’s no accident that they choose those who are open-hearted, generous and willing to work hard for a relationship. Toxic people are smart but they have the emotional intelligence of a pen lid. Toxic behaviour is a habitual way of responding to the world and the people in it. They never self-reflect and they don’t care who they hurt along the way. We mess things up, we grow and we learn. Toxic people are different.
At some point we’ll all make stupid decisions, hurt the people we love, say things that are hard to take back, and push too hard to get our way. None of that makes us toxic. One of the joys of being human is that we don’t have to be perfect to be one of the good ones.
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